he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
