My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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