Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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