New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
