I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My vagina is officially offended.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
