At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
