Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
