You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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