I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
