38 yer olds are good kisserssss
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize