I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
