Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
