I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
