I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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