i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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