so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize