What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
