I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
