capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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