He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
