I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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