Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
