i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
