OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize