i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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