Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
