After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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