whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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