the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
