her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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