Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
