i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Is that strawberry winking at me??
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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