look no pants
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
