i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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