pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
