Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
