he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
