I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
