i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
