I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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