do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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