The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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