Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
