i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
