The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Operation Purity has been aborted
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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