I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
