so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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