Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the day after is always just damage control
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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