My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize