I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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