our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
