I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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