Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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