She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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