Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
