I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize