we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
