i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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