He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
this beer tastes like vomit already
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
