how can u be prego again
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
