I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize