Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
ugly people sure do ruin things
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
they're like a gay fantastic four
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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