While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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