I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
